Hello friends! I have missed writing for you! Quite frankly I’m horribly embarrassed by how long At the it has been since I have written a new blog post. Some would say Life Happens, but I’m here to say that I got in my own way with this blogging thing. Let me explain further.
This time last year there was SO much uncertainty in my life. As some of you know, I had a gastric bypass in August 2016. One month later, I developed a severe stricture (a closure) between my new stomach pouch and my intestines, which took 3 weeks of being in and out of the hospital to diagnose. What followed was one month of weekly endoscopy’s to stretch out the stricture slowly so food and liquid could pass through normally, along with being hooked to a pump that fed me through an IV 16 hours a day. I had a PICC line (central line) inserted and had to keep it from getting wet. For months after the PICC line was removed and I was back on solid foods, I was so weak at times that I could barely stand long enough to take a shower or unload the dishwasher. I had extreme dizziness and had to be extremely careful about what I ate; otherwise I would become nauseated.
At the time this happened, I had a job working part-time in a church with their children and youth, but I had no idea when I would be well enough to return to work. Everything in my life felt uncertain: my health, the fate of my job, and our finances (we’re still paying our portion for the month-long IV feedings a year later). I was scared, worried, and wondered if I had made a huge mistake by having this life-altering surgery. My husband’s parents’ church gave our family a food basket for Thanksgiving with turkey and all the trimmings since I was out of work. We’ve always been the ones donating to food drives, but never the recipients. That alone was scary, though we were grateful for their generosity.
When I did make it back to work in December, I was informed that the church couldn’t afford to keep my position at 25 hours a week and would have to cut it to 10 hours a week and I would only be working with the youth, not the children. They were looking for a new pastor and realized under the leadership of the interim pastor that they needed to change some things financially in order to afford a permanent pastor. Reducing my hours and pay was one of their cost-cutting measures. My husband and I decided it was time for me to resign at the end of December 2016.
My grand plan was to cash out my small Roth IRA, use it to cover my lost salary for 6 months, stay at home and build up my brand new blog and life coaching business. 6 months at home seemed like an eternity at the time. I had dreams of multiple clients, a thriving blog, e-books to launch, and lots of people I could help.
Well, that’s not what happened.
Not that my dreams were crazy or anything, but the first 2 months after I left my job I struggled with my professional identity. Was I really a blogger and life coach if I didn’t have readers or clients yet? After working in churches for over 20 years, it felt weird no longer going to church on Sunday mornings. My kids missed their friends and the programs I used to be responsible for. I felt guilty about that. I missed the people I had served. What was I to do with myself if I wasn’t leaving the house for work? It was quite an adjustment.
During those first 2 months, I also struggled with getting my blog website, w
ww.YourGentleNudge.com and my life coaching website, www.YourListeningEar.com built. The logistics of website building were challenging for me. I had an idea of what I wanted the blog to look like but I couldn’t figure out the technical aspects of getting my website to look like I wanted it to. And I didn’t have the money to hire someone who knew a lot more than me about website building on Word Press.
So I read a ton of articles about Word Press and the theme I was using. I also read about how to create a successful blog. Free webinars about topics like list building, mastering Pinterest, getting into Facebook groups to grow your blog, and sales techniques that don’t sound “salesy” were what I spent time on. I learned about SEO optimization (Search Engine Optimization) so people could find my blog, building an email list, how to create a sales funnel, how to decide what your niche is going to be, successful marketing strategies, and a whole slew of other topics I now wish I HADN’T wasted my time on. At the time I thought I was being productive; however, what I’ve discovered is that I was avoiding the real problem.
I was scared the world wouldn’t like me and what I have to say.
What’s that? A blogger who is scared to put herself out there and share her wisdom and life experiences?
Yep. All my life I’ve felt like I experience the world differently than most people I know. I’m an emotional creature who can sense certain things about others. These qualities can actually be attributes when you’re in a helping profession, because the people who could benefit from what I’ve learned through my life experiences aren’t necessarily running around telling the world (or me) that they are hurting and are in need of healing, love, and support. I know I’M not in any hurry to do that, for fear of being judged or rejected.
But I’ve been criticized all my life for being “overly sensitive.” Many of the insights I gain about others have some from my sensitivity to others and their emotions. I’ve never been able to separate myself emotionally from the energy of other people around me. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, been a people-pleaser, and felt things very deeply.
So I let my fear of not being good enough, of not having the right thing to say to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who reads this blog, and fear of letting someone out there down paralyze me and stifle 6 months of productivity. Looking back on all of this one year after I immersed myself in the blogging process, I see how crazy I made myself by trying to learn so much at once. It’s not that this information was over my head, but I didn’t have the proper context to truly understand all that I was reading and learning. I was escaping into website building and learning instead of facing my fears and conquering them.
If I could go back and tell my November 2016 self what I know now, here’s what I would say:
1) Take things slowly. You don’t have to learn everything about blogging in one month.
2) Believe that you have a legitimate voice and the people who need to hear what you have to say will eventually find you. Yes, you will have to do some work to get your blog out there, but this too will be a long-term process.
3) Don’t think you have to have a perfect-looking blog. Figure out what you can afford to do on your own and build that.
4) Focus on your content. Even if you don’t know your ideal audience, as you write more and more blog posts, you’ll find your true voice and discover your audience.
5) Don’t worry too much about all the specifics of a blog post. You don’t have to write for optimal SEO, have the ideal number of words, or have a list in every post. Focusing on the minutiae will take away the vision you have for your blog and will sidetrack you.
6) Learn from a handful of other, more successful bloggers. Be choosy about whose materials you spend time reading, viewing, or working through. You will NEVER be able to learn from EVERY good blogger! There aren’t enough hours in the day!
7) Just write. I cannot say this enough. Just write. Get as many posts up as you feel led to write. Then, once you start to find your niche and your audience, you can go back and work on weeding out posts which no longer serve your audience. You can also go back and update earlier posts to optimize them for SEO when you aren’t spending as much time on content creation.
8) You don’t have to do it all at once. I got so caught up with having to start a Facebook page for my blog and a Pinterest account for my blog in addition to finding groups on both platforms where I could promote my blog that I didn’t really write content for my blog. Lack of content + not finding my ideal readers = lots of time wasted.
Even though I haven’t achieved my dream yet of being able to work from home and run my blog and life coaching business on the schedule I want with the financial freedom I desire while helping others, I’m not going to stop trying. There’s been a number of times I’ve sputtered and completely stalled, but I’m still farther along the path to my dream than I was this time last year. I’ve learned a lot. I’m working on doing all I can to focus on what I’ve learned and not let it fall by the wayside. I’m still learning, growing, and exploring all the things I do to block my own success.
In the coming year, I hope you will join me on your own growth journey! Let’s support and encourage each other! If you would like weekly encouragement in your inbox, please sign up for my email list! Just add your info to the form below and you’re in! You’ll also be able to download my PDF of “99 Ways to Deal With Stress” if you wish. Thanks for taking the time to read this post! I value your time!